The puzzle

People use to ask me if I'd ever wished I had a sister and I thought it was the most ridiculous question. Why would I want a sister? The thought wasn't even something I could comprehend. I was content with my three brothers ... and I didn't feel out of place running around with them and their friends.

In every stage of my life, I always had just 2-3 girlfriends I'd see at school or church; but for all of my single life, my brothers were my best friends. So want a sister? That thought never even crossed my mind.

It wasn't until recently that I understood why that question meant more to others than it did me. Ladies tell me all the time, "I don't know what I'd do without my sister(s). I couldn't imagine life without that constant closeness I have with my sister(s). It's my deepest, best relationship."

Then I started to wonder ... hey, was I missing something in life? Did I get robbed?

But then again ... I very much enjoyed growing up with my brothers. I would never trade any of it and cherish all the moments we got in trouble and ran around barefoot and wild in the neighborhood. And there was very little emotional clashes - you know guys. What you see is what you get; don't try to figure it out.

I remember hearing my first sister fight over a bra and thought, gosh, seriously ... they're fighting over clothes? And then they just took each other's clothes to get back at each other? Man, we used fists, wrestled and threw stuff at each other. But we were friends again in 5 minutes too; no grudges. Forgive and forget.

But I do admit that perhaps in high school, it might've been nice to have someone to talk to besides laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to Michael Bolton and feeling sad and depressed because nothing about (thinking I was) falling in love made sense. You can't talk to boys about relationship stuff - although I was a great listener whenever my brothers needed to be heard about some girl. But I never talked much about boy problems with them.

Anyway, now, as an adult, things have changed.

I've learned to invest in relationships that allow me to emotionally let go. I realized that if I wanted good soul-filling conversations, I had to find quality girlfriends to confide in. Men would rather cut out all that feely-talking stuff if they could help it. Although Dave attempted to tune in, at times it just frustrated me more because of the differences in how we "listen."

I have a lot of great friends - but very few close friends. There are lifelong friends ... and sadly, friends I thought would stay forever ended up just being seasonsal.

Recently I thought I could get two friends whom I was close to to hang out and get to know each other. If I got along with them, surely they'd get along with each other too. Unfortunately, my friendship-making skills were off. They merely became Facebook friends and that was it. But it was a good lesson to learn.

And I realized, just because I'm good friends with them doesn't make them compatible. Each person who crosses our path meets our needs in a unique way ... just as we meet theirs.

And we are a different person around different people. Not to say we put on masks and never show anyone our true self. But each relationship is a piece of the puzzle that makes us whole. Each person who comes into our life sees a different side of us.

I have friends I can complain to and know they'd understand and share practical wisdom with me. I have friends I confide in about my worst dark secrets and know they won't judge me. I have friends I mostly laugh with because they make me feel good and forget about the stupid things in life. I have friends who pray for and with me. I have friends I could talk about God with - while others I don't even mention the name God at all - but I'm also ok with that because Christ didn't call us to commune only with believers. I have friends I am a very good listener to. I have friends I know appreciate my honesty and advice. I have friends who crack me up so much, I get ugly-faced laughter. But very, very few can I share the silly things my heart desires - and boy, it's been a very long time and I'm very, very much in need of dreaming.

I have friends from all walks of life ... and I appreciate the special effect they have on my life. And how they fit into the big picture that makes me whole.

Men and women have different needs - and women's, obviously, is conversation and quality time. And I couldn't imagine how much lonelier I'd be if I didn't have the good friends that I have to talk to and have around.

So in that way, I guess had I had a sister growing up, maybe life would've been a bit smoother for those times I could've used someone to talk to and be listened to. My brothers were my bestest friends ever ... and my husband isn't so bad either ... but having good girlfriends and sharing laughter is pretty darn priceless.