Very Low Expectations

I have very low expectations … of people … of things … of events. There can only be two things that can happen from expectations: you get what you hoped for – which is a good thing – or you don’t.

Life has taught me that expectations can cause a bit of unnecessary anxiety and possible disappointment. Too many times I’ve wallowed in emotional injuries … because I was that naïve to have expectations.

However, naturally, though I resist, I do have some expectations. Some. But I try to avoid thinking too much about what could or couldn't happen. I just put one foot in front of the other and prepare myself for anything. I just have to trust that whatever happens, I'll have some kind of peace about it.

Anyway, having said all that ... I have to contradict myself and confess that in the deepest part of my heart, there's a small nagging feeling ... with a tiny voice that struggles to hide but speaks loudly saying, "Lord, I really, really want this."

Because by human nature, I can fight all I want to suppress expectations to protect my heart, but I still want.

I still want.