A poopy kind of anxiety
At this moment, I'm feeling overwhelmed by anxiety. You know, the kind that makes you need to run to the bathroom before you do anything else. Like walking into a hospital. That can make me need to use the crapper - right away.
Just too many thoughts and feelings running around in my head. I'd like to pick just one and work through it, but it's all jumbled in there like cobwebs.
Recently at work, the question was asked "Who likes change?" A few stood up acknowledging they like change. I think they're liars. Big fat liars. Of course they were standing there, separating themselves from us "cowards of change" because they were the ones implementing change. But if they were forced into a corner by change they couldn't control, they'd probably resist. I am sure of it ... because who really is comfortable with change when it's out of their hands. Sure ... give anyone time to adjust, and they'd eventually adapt. It might take a few days ... a few weeks ... some - longer.
Anyway, it's 6:30 a.m. and I've already gone to the bathroom ... but the anxiety is still there, so I'm afraid I might have to hit the john a few more times today. Or just work through it.
But I know, sooner or later, this will be just like paying bills on a very broke week and seeing the debts stack up.
When the monies start dwindling and the bills make me so dizzy I see stars and my heart is pounding so hard ... and all I want to do is keep that pay check ... I know I have to give up and give in and give it to God. Because He promised that He has a plan for me - a plan to prosper me and not to hurt me.
I think I'll be selfless this mornng and not share, but give it ALL to Him. Obviously I can't do it alone.
So then like fog on a cold morning that blankets the earth, my troubles that make me anxious yet suffer so beautifully slowly fades into the sunshine that shines down on me and slowly warms me ... reminding me that it's only temporary. Sure, the troubles may return, but they too can dissolve into the air if I let the Sonshine do its thing.
And by suffering beautifully, I mean that in the midst of anxiety ... at every level of suffering ... there is a reminder of a hope. That things will turn out okay ... if I let it go.
Ha - and now I feel better.
Just too many thoughts and feelings running around in my head. I'd like to pick just one and work through it, but it's all jumbled in there like cobwebs.
Recently at work, the question was asked "Who likes change?" A few stood up acknowledging they like change. I think they're liars. Big fat liars. Of course they were standing there, separating themselves from us "cowards of change" because they were the ones implementing change. But if they were forced into a corner by change they couldn't control, they'd probably resist. I am sure of it ... because who really is comfortable with change when it's out of their hands. Sure ... give anyone time to adjust, and they'd eventually adapt. It might take a few days ... a few weeks ... some - longer.
Anyway, it's 6:30 a.m. and I've already gone to the bathroom ... but the anxiety is still there, so I'm afraid I might have to hit the john a few more times today. Or just work through it.
But I know, sooner or later, this will be just like paying bills on a very broke week and seeing the debts stack up.
When the monies start dwindling and the bills make me so dizzy I see stars and my heart is pounding so hard ... and all I want to do is keep that pay check ... I know I have to give up and give in and give it to God. Because He promised that He has a plan for me - a plan to prosper me and not to hurt me.
I think I'll be selfless this mornng and not share, but give it ALL to Him. Obviously I can't do it alone.
So then like fog on a cold morning that blankets the earth, my troubles that make me anxious yet suffer so beautifully slowly fades into the sunshine that shines down on me and slowly warms me ... reminding me that it's only temporary. Sure, the troubles may return, but they too can dissolve into the air if I let the Sonshine do its thing.
And by suffering beautifully, I mean that in the midst of anxiety ... at every level of suffering ... there is a reminder of a hope. That things will turn out okay ... if I let it go.
Ha - and now I feel better.
posted by Pazz at 5:28 AM
1 Comments:
Is everything ok, Vong?
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