Mothering is hard
The other day I wasn’t very nice to Toccoa. I pulled a sheet of paper from her hand and gave her a look – which must’ve looked really mean – because I walked off and when I turned around, her back was to me, her head was down and her little shoulders were shaking. I went to see and her hand was covering her mouth, trying really hard not to cry … with HUGE tears running down her cheeks.
I felt terrible! I'd never seen her do that, and it was such a grown-up heart-breaking thing to do.
In our family, I’m the disciplinarian, while daddy’s fun. I’m the strict one who doesn’t let her get away with anything, while daddy enjoys letting her crawl and jump all over him and lounge atop his head and shoulders. I am very, very hard on her, while daddy dotes on her and buys her gifts.
But here's the thing. I can’t get over an obligation to make sure Toccoa is ready for the big world. I know, I know - she's only 4!!!! But it all starts at a young age.
I've taught Toccoa A LOT of things. I’m not bragging; I just know her potential and take advantage of opportunities to teach. I want her to learn basic skills so she can be independent, responsible and thrive on her own.
But once in a while, I get a good slap in the face by reality to chill the hell out and let her be a kid – or she’s going to hate me one day when she has enough sense to stop loving me because I’m too strict and mean.
Obviously, we do have good days … when I’m feeling more a mommy than a nazi. We talk and laugh, and she won’t talk back or have an attitude problem, and I won’t scream at her or tell her she’s the slowest person or meanest person in the world. We’ll be like girlfriends instead of mother and daughter, hanging out at Starbucks, legs crossed and drinking hot chocolate with raspberry turnovers. We do have a lot of fun together ...
And like it or not, my baby is not a baby anymore and I miss her tiny cuteness sooooo much. I want her to grow up independent, but I don’t want her to grow up too fast either. Maybe this weekend I’ll let her be a kid and I’ll be a fun mom and we can snuggle and watch Sleeping Beauty. And I’ll let her talk throughout the whole movie and hold my chin straight ahead so I don’t miss the part when the evil witch leads Princess Aurora up the dark staircase to her doom.
Honestly, don’t other moms worry they’re not preparing their kid enough for the world? C’mon, be honest; being a mom is really, really hard trying to balance being fun, a disciplinarian, a lifetime teacher and role model. AND having to undo all the damage done by dad's spoiling. :)
Dads - they just have to be cool and fun. I’d like to be a cool and fun parent sometimes and let Dave be the bad guy – but I let him be the fun one for now because someday, she’s going to hate her dad (for a time) and come to me with all her boyfriend problems. LOL
But ... Toccoa is a really good kid, who listens well (wouldn't you with a mean mom?), and I'm thankful she forgives me every time I do something to hurt her. She totally rocks!
I felt terrible! I'd never seen her do that, and it was such a grown-up heart-breaking thing to do.
In our family, I’m the disciplinarian, while daddy’s fun. I’m the strict one who doesn’t let her get away with anything, while daddy enjoys letting her crawl and jump all over him and lounge atop his head and shoulders. I am very, very hard on her, while daddy dotes on her and buys her gifts.
But here's the thing. I can’t get over an obligation to make sure Toccoa is ready for the big world. I know, I know - she's only 4!!!! But it all starts at a young age.
I've taught Toccoa A LOT of things. I’m not bragging; I just know her potential and take advantage of opportunities to teach. I want her to learn basic skills so she can be independent, responsible and thrive on her own.
But once in a while, I get a good slap in the face by reality to chill the hell out and let her be a kid – or she’s going to hate me one day when she has enough sense to stop loving me because I’m too strict and mean.
Obviously, we do have good days … when I’m feeling more a mommy than a nazi. We talk and laugh, and she won’t talk back or have an attitude problem, and I won’t scream at her or tell her she’s the slowest person or meanest person in the world. We’ll be like girlfriends instead of mother and daughter, hanging out at Starbucks, legs crossed and drinking hot chocolate with raspberry turnovers. We do have a lot of fun together ...
And like it or not, my baby is not a baby anymore and I miss her tiny cuteness sooooo much. I want her to grow up independent, but I don’t want her to grow up too fast either. Maybe this weekend I’ll let her be a kid and I’ll be a fun mom and we can snuggle and watch Sleeping Beauty. And I’ll let her talk throughout the whole movie and hold my chin straight ahead so I don’t miss the part when the evil witch leads Princess Aurora up the dark staircase to her doom.
Honestly, don’t other moms worry they’re not preparing their kid enough for the world? C’mon, be honest; being a mom is really, really hard trying to balance being fun, a disciplinarian, a lifetime teacher and role model. AND having to undo all the damage done by dad's spoiling. :)
Dads - they just have to be cool and fun. I’d like to be a cool and fun parent sometimes and let Dave be the bad guy – but I let him be the fun one for now because someday, she’s going to hate her dad (for a time) and come to me with all her boyfriend problems. LOL
But ... Toccoa is a really good kid, who listens well (wouldn't you with a mean mom?), and I'm thankful she forgives me every time I do something to hurt her. She totally rocks!
posted by Pazz at 1:46 PM
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